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Sunday, February 23, 2014

Being Seriously Humorous



Parking his bike under the shade he walked the remaining steps murmuring in frustration.  It was early morning of  first day of the week at office. So i was wondering  the reason for his early morning frustration.

With due concern i asked him, " Ambuja Sir ! you look little disurbed."

"These Tyre companies are simply looting us. Yesterday i bought a new tyre for my bike because the previous one did not last long." replied Ambuja Sir.

Why?  How much did it last ? I inquired curiously.
"Just 10 years old and it lost all the grip." ( Bus dus saal mein hi pura ghis gaya )  replied Ambuja Sir .
Unable to control my laughter i left the place instantly and laughed my guts out inside the washroom. One decade of  rigorous use and he expected his tyre to serve him even more. That was Ambuja sir for you.

He is the man who never laughed. Being serious and stressed out was his innate art. He perspired more than his daily intake of water. Always fearful of being casual or normal, he lived  life on super serious terms. He never relied on anybody. No soul on earth could ever win his credibility. For him the tag "Incredible India meant otherwise". His seriousness was more attributable to his pessimistic approach in life. For him the office air- conditioner  maintaining a hardly 27 degree Celsius was a health hazard. He would often say  " Yaar AC band kar do bimar ho jayenge" ( Switch off the AC otherwise we will fall sick).
When nobody responded to his warnings he would walk like a cat on a secret mission and switch off the AC without anybody s knowledge and approval.

There are a number of funny Incidences that I love to recollect and share with my friends. Here is a list of some chosen one.

You also start planning for the second Child ( Aap bhi dusra bacha plan karo..hmm jaldi plan karo:

 It all happened that one day Ambuja sir' s  eight year old son asked him, ''Papa why I don't have a sibling ?". That one liner was taken so seriously by Ambuja sir that he planned for the next child the same day  without a second thought. And with that planning everybody in the office had to take his advice on the slightest excuse for the next 9 months. He would randomly get in talk with anybody in the office and narrate him his story of how he made up his  mind for the next baby. At the end he would say " Aap bhi dusra bacha plan karo'' ( You also plan for the next child). He went to such an extent that he did not even spare young guys who were still unmarried and happily living their bachelor life.
Once he came to me for his pensive advice and told me the same cliche' liner " Aap bhi dusra bacha plan kar lo". At  that point of  time I was newly married and an immediate baby was no where on my mind. So I told him," Sir ! why should I plan for the next when I am yet to plan for my first baby".
The next what he said became a mammoth joke in my life. To this date I haven't heard a better joke than this one.
 You know what he replied me ?
He said," Pehle ka baad mein plan karna pehle dusra plan kar lo" ( You can plan for the first child later on but plan for the next now) . Otherwise you will not be able to reply your first child.

I think Tension master Ambuja sir took his eight year old son's question too seriously. I thought he was kidding but he meant that.This magnum opus line of comedy came with his sheer seriousness. So maintaining the same line of seriousness I replied him " Ok Sir! I will plan my second child before planning for the first."
( Haan Sir pehle dusra bacha plan karunga uske baad pehla). I thought "boss iska to #ConditionSeriousHai .


You also get your tyres changed ( Aap bhi apna tyre change karwalo)
As mentioned above Ambuja sir changed his bike s tyres after a decade of usage. Inspite of the long service rendered by the tyres, Ambuja sir had bitterness for the tyre manufacturers. But he experienced a better side to his new investement on tyres. His new tyres did not puncture so far and that was a big relief because his old tyres had a very bad history of  frequent punctures atleast twice a week. So he wanted to share his new tip to infinite people in his vicinity. That was also a salvation for his newly acquired tyre tension. Whenever he did something new he used to get tensed and to ease his tension he used to make maximum number of people do that same thing. So now it was time to advice everybody to change their tyres no matter if it was really the time to change. Sooner he entered the office he would say " Apka Bike puncture hota hai kya ?". To this the common reply used to be " Haan kabhi kabhi hota hai" ( Yeah! Sometimes. )
Pat used to come Ambuja' s one liner " Apna tyre change karwa lo" ( Get your tyre changed)
On one occasion he even gave this valuable advice to Nigesh who treated the office with sweets for his new bike a month back. Just imagine what shock he would have gone through on Ambuja sir's suggestion for a new tyre.

There are many parallel  synergistic stories of his tension and humor still embedded in my mind. But for that we need to sit together outside my office. And the best part is that even Ambuja sir can also join the talk because he too enjoys his own stories with a cute smile.