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Saturday, February 4, 2017

Love Diaries




The other day my wife shared a piece of write-up written by her college friend, Trisha. The write-up was actually a kind of diary note that elaborated her feelings for the boy she loves and wants to marry. I was mesmerized in the flow of her words and feelings. Trisha explained her bewilderment, the traumatic shock that she would go through on being married to someone else. The narration was based on imagination of a probable situation in future where she is being married to someone else. The narration ends with the line, " I would ran away. "

She loves X and wants to marry him. She also loves her family and cannot imagine leaving them forever for marrying X. Now, Mr X is not a simple entity like English alphabet X. He has an arithmetical angle  too. Yes, the same letter x of mathematics, aka synonym for complication, complexity and convolution. Mr. X is from another world, I mean Religion, Region & Reign. 

It is normal for Trisha to leap her parental ideology in choosing the love of her life. Being an IIM graduate, has surely graduated her to rise above unnecessary inhibitions. But she has a family that could not move with the pace of her world. They are not wrong for being  slow movers, she is not wrong either. So ! how to deal with the situation ? How to make L.H.S (Parents Dulha) = R.H.S (Mr.X Ladki ka Pyar). After all, another IIM graduate (Chetan Bhagat) has already done this in real life and reel life. Of course, the religion angle was not there in their case. And this is the only angle that has convinced Trisha that her parents will never agree for Mr. X.

LHS#RHS (Hence proved)

Hence, she has to choose between her parents and Mr. X.

My wife wanted me to talk to her friend and guide her through. She thinks I am an 'A'grade Love Guru. Half a decade back I was Mr. X  of her life and that says it all, why she wants me to talk to Trisha.

I chose not to talk to her. The reasons are very practical. I do not propagate love marriages neither do I oppose one. I did one because I wanted to marry her and not because I had fantasy for love marriage or anything against Arranged Marriage.  It was my love that chose its own course of love; its own direction. I did not draw inspirations from similar marriages in my friend circle, neither did I got discouraged to see similar marriages in jeopardy. The vicarious experiences did not affect me positively or negatively. I knew marriage is a very complex subject and there are infinite dynamics that control the success or failures of marriages. To me till date, the mode of marriage has never been an article to judge the success of a marriage. Marital harmony has got nothing to do with type of marriage (Love or Arranged). It is all about understanding, compromising, and sacrificing for each other. It is also about letting lighter things go to save more precious things in life.

If the most powerful thing between a couple is love then rest all stupid things can take a backseat. Stay assured that only pure love and care for each other can keep your boat afloat. The life is a dangerous sea and things around it are dangerous sea monsters.

Coming back to Trisha.

Explaining her my point of view will be pointless. I cannot quantify their strength of love nor can she quantify mine to understand why I took up the decision of a love marriage.  So no two stories can be similar even though the circumstances can be very similar. But I want to bring some clarity of thought on the subject. Choosing Mr X has good possibility of retaining her family along side. Although not immediately at least after a period of time. There are bright chances of retaining both if she goes with Mr. X. However, if she choose to do away with Mr X marrying someone else, the possibility of retaining Mr X becomes uber-zero. If she can live with this fact, she ought to take the easy route. And if she cannot,  then her easy route is surely Mr. X although it seems tough myopically.

To be continued.........



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